Negative Nancy
The week that was
Dear diary,
It’s been a busy start to the week with appointments and logistics. I decided that clearly the topic of Seren talking is a sensitive one for me, so I’m going to refrain from ‘talking’ about it this week, and maybe for a while. It’s sort of his business too, so I don’t really feel great putting it all on here. As a closing to the topic for now - I feel a lot better about it this week because I know that I’m doing all the right things. My family reassured me over the weekend, the council run ‘talking class’ with a speech pathologist we attended reassured me, and being around and knowing Seren reassures me too.
I keep doing this thing where I write an entire Substack post and then at the last minute decide I don’t want to send it for whatever reason. This week, I wrote a long winded explanation about how I negotiate money stuff with clients, complete with examples - boring and could come across as complain-y which I didn’t want. It could be reworked when I’m in a better mood, ha. The weather is terrible at the moment and I’ve never been a winter lover. I hate all my clothes, the necessary layering, and illness that comes with the darker days. After our talking class the other day Seren has come down with a cold, and I wish I could say that I’ve graduated from freaking out about every tiny thing with him, but I haven’t. With sicknesses, I also don’t like how then it makes it difficult for me to ask for help - I never in turn want to make members of my family sick. But it’s when there is illness that I need the most help. A situation impossible to navigate entirely perfectly and one that triggers my anxiety the most.
And not to be all negative Nancy but sleep is still not great, either. I realised what’s hard about this time around and it’s that we’re no longer in the newborn days, I’m not on maternity leave and I’m expected to function fully in society. Those around you expect that you have it all down pat as he’s going to be TWO soon, but it’s often in these times that you need extended grace and understanding. We are dealing with multiple night wakes, and a 4.30am start, which we just can’t kick!
I thought it best to close on some positive things that make me happy and excited. I got two workshop enquiries this week! And I love going to Savers so much haha. This week I found a Jellycat that’s a secret because I think it will go in Seren’s birthday haul :) I’m both overwhelmed at the prospect of Seren’s birthday BUT excited to buy him his presents and put party hats on his toys, regardless of what we end up doing for it :) I’m excited for my exhibition and our family trip to the Gold Coast, even though I’m rethinking booking the 6am flights… (Although, it’s not like Seren enjoys sleeping in!)
Obus sent me this beautiful dress!
Wishlist:
Considering I’m excited about buying Seren’s birthday gifts, I thought I would go into what I’m thinking at the moment! Firstly, you’ll remember the other week I mentioned I wanted to give him some of those magnetic tiles. I got an email from the brand CONNETIX themselves offering to send him some for his birthday. I couldn’t believe it. We got the parcel soon after - the Rainbow Creative Pack and the Star Light pack. I can’t tell you how helpful this was for us at the moment, I literally got teary when we got it because I had been calculating how much more I could put on my Afterpay this month haha. It’s been a bit like that recently! I’ve put them away until his birthday, but I guess that will be the main present! Will post a full review when we’ve opened them up :)
Then I got him two Jellycats, a replacement Bartholomew Bear that he uses for sleep - his current one is looking a little manky from his nightly sucking so it will be good to be able to rotate (even just for my own Jellycat washing schedule) and a Bashful Fudge Puppy. I bought them from this website Pillowtalk that I found where you could get 15% off your first purchase. And, I got found this bunny Jellycat at Savers! A bit steep as usual but I had 20% off, and it seems brand new! :)
Lastly I’m thinking of getting this Duplo set, it’s a new release and Seren doesn’t really have anything like it. The little hedgehog is so cute!
Enough? Absolutely.
Watching/Listening:
This week’s episode of Widow’s Bay was like a flashback ep so I can’t lie and say I wasn’t a tiny bit disappointed that I didn’t get to see all my friends, but it was still funny and scary and enjoyable. We really need to start another show but we’re just so zombified that we really can’t commit to anything else at the moment. We’ll get to the couch at like 8pm, put free to air on and go on our phones for an hour before bed. It’s so toxic but like it’s all we can muster right now!
Ins/Outs:
In: This week I decided I’m going to put a note down the bottom of my invoices saying that late payment will result in a 10% fee. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to do that. I’ll be too shy to ever enforce it, of course, and I don’t think it will make a difference - but the threat is there!
Out: I thought that what TikTok has dubbed the ‘night-time scaries’ were over when our newborn days finished. Unfortunately they’re back - the pit of anxiety when I go to sleep wondering what the night is going to hold for us. Last night before shutting my eyes I said to Simon “I wonder what horrors will befall us tonight” You have to laugh.
Inside a book/magazine from my collection:
Remember Shakaya? And Selwyn? And Rumba? I know at the ripe old age of 11 would have been reading the guide to Rumba as diligently as if I were going. This is Girlfriend Magazine from December 2002.
This Stayfree branding and illustrations were iconic.
Best wishes,
Minna